Alias Diablo/ Stallion / Warlord

[shadowforce]

Character Name: Alias Diablo
Pronounced: Al-ee-ass Dee-ab-low
Gender: Stallion
Age:5
Rank: Warlord
Other Characters: None yet

Appearance: Alias Diablo is a mixture of breeds, earning him the most despised nickname of Mutt from his former comrades. The most notable are Fresian, Andalusian and of course Mustang. He has light iron hooves on the ends of his long legs, so there aren't much of a weapon, but he can run, dodge and maneuver at breakneck speed. He may not be 17 hands high like most stallions (Is in fact a little bit smaller), so his size causes him to lack a lot of strength, therefore it is a challenge fighting much larger opponents. This matter of height also make his withers and head more vulnerable. His most valued weapons are his hindquaters. They are a typical powerhouse, allowing him to sprint, and perform stunning ears.

Alias Diablo takes on the main appearance of a Fresian Stallion, with an ebony pelt that makes him look like a polished statue. He has no markings and has a long and wavy black banner and mane. During the hours of night, it is quite impossible to see him, but in the sunlight, the sun gives him an variety of tones and shades. His eyes are not too big nor small, and give him an air of intelligence. The pupils are many shades of deep brown, such as tan, nutmeg and chocolate,and the pupils are a toneless black.

Personality: Alias Diablo is a think-before-you-act horse, and was trained that way. When the war arrives, he spends his time planning strategies and battle tactics, and they usually prove successful, but not all the time. (unlike the warlords that just scream CHARGE!) Alias Diablo is also a charmer, he charms mares like flute players charm a cobra. He has high levels of charisma, intelligence and humor. He is also humble, noble, pitiful when the need arises and courageous. Don't mark him as a "sissy" though as he still fights viciously, forces lone mares and claims them like most of the stallions do.

He is very observant, and can tell a lot about a horse or object by using the smallest details imaginable. He uses this keen skill during battle, sizing up his enemy before rushing in to the fight. How strong their legs were, if they were wheezing and if they were over-confident. Very helpful ability indeed. He can sometimes rely on this ability too much, and if he gets a single detail wrong, it could prove fatal.

He has a fatal weakness; his pity and love. One day he hopes to find someone who can rule beside him, as being a Warlord is extremely lonely. When he finds her, it would be fatal for the both of them, as she could be used againist him (kidnapped and held captive, ransom her life being threatened). He also gets angered easily, causing him to make some rash decisions.

Rp Sample: The land of the northern mountains, Ananchel, was experiencing Mother Nature's fury. The cold winter was here, and Ananchel was surviving a brutal thunder storm. The once clear night sky, twinkling with shimmering stars was covered by a dark mass of thunder and rain clouds. The sky rumbled with the shout of thunder, and the lightning struck the sky, creating spider web patterns across the clouds. The rain pelted the ground below, a constant wave of watery bullets from the furious sky. The river was frozen over in places, coats of ice shielding the freezing cold water rushing below. The ground was covered by a huge ghostly white blanket, the occasional grass shoot or rock braving the snow. The wind was unmerciful, threatening to uproot trees, creating huge whips of snow, and causing the jet black banner of a Fresian stallion to sway swiftly with the wind.

Alias Diablo scanned this icy wilderness with observant brown eyes. For other equines, it was a worthless wasteland full of snow, and they would have moved on. But this land named Ananchel caught him during his travels. It was wild and untameable, just like a wild horse. The storm made it look even more beautiful. It was amazing how it was the early days of winter, and the storm had come so suddenly. The tree he was standing under had huge wooden fingers that reached tall and wide. It was clothed by jade leaves, and even though only few were left, they provided a satisfactory shelter.

It didn't take him long to make his ultimate decision. He stepped away from the refuge of his shelter, and into the fury of the storm. The thunder rumbled as he balanced on his back legs, lifting his front legs up into a rear, and he let out a roaring whinny, symbolizing his new found leadership. He claimed the land and all that was and would be in it as the lighting struck the sky in agreement. His hooves came back to the earth, making the snow crunch. Celebration could come later, he had work to do. He was now Warlord of Ananchel, Alias Diablo.

Other: Alias Diablo was nicknamed Diablo by his master, a Captain because of his devious ears that were shaped like horns. His rider was killed in the last days of battle, and Alias and his team were left behind by the humans to fend for themselves.

Alias Diablo never knew his father. The Mustang was taken away straight after breeding with his mother and was killed before Alias was born. His mother was a kind but fearless Frisian X mare who knew the secrets of the fine art; dressage. During the time they spent together, his mother not only taught him how to fight, but how to perform this movements (he also got the bulk of his personality and his observing skills from her). He was very close with his mother, and was devastated when she was killed in action.

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[`` OWNER]

Declined.

Please refer to the 'How to' Thread for the COORECT SUBJECT FORUM.

[shadowforce]

better?

[`` OWNER]

Pending.

Just Warlord will be fine, no need for 'Warlord of Ananchel.' Otherwise gooid.

6 is old for the Warlords here. Please change it to 5.

He has light iron hooves - are you referring to the colour or his hooves being small? I'm just wondering.

I don't really see anything negative for his appearance. You pretty much covered everything as being a positive - moving fast, running fast and high endurance. So what negatives can he have? Seems to be one of those 'perfect' characters which we cannot have as a Warlord, so figure out some way which he is weak.

His personality is also very cliche. He's surely coming off as the perfect horse - like he has all the brawns and all the brains, excellent with the ladies and can tell if a horse is a sick by his gums? These are horses, not people. Please keep things realistic.

Now, Warlords are either really strong or really smart - not both. Erebus Calibarr was bred for intelligence, hence why he is shorter and slimmer in body. Amoraq, and old Warlord, was more muscular and made more for fighting than thinking. You can't have it all, and he comes off as a character who has it all.

His negatives are also very weak, in the sense that I don't really see them as weaknesses especially since you didn't elaborate very much on them. Okay, so his weakness is love - does that mean he's kind to mares or always looking for a lover? What about his pity? What and who does he pity? What does it make him do? How can he get mad easily but lose steam easily? Does that mean he'll be in the middle of an attack then decide not to fight, and retreat? Hopefully you understand what I'm getting at.

Everything else is fine :]

[shadowforce]

Warlord of Ananchel: Just to let you know what territory I wanted.

Age: Changed

light hooves: Meaning they weigh little, making it easier to gallop

appearance: I already had a negative in there, it was his size which would cause disadvantage to his performance BOLDED His hooves aren't much of a useful weapon also was another thing I metioned.

Brawns?:When did I metion he was really strong? Hes small, no mention of muscles and is more bred for tiring his opponents out rather then full on kicking and screaming

Gums: When horses are really sick, their gums become sort of different from their normal pale colour.

Have it all: Pls look at post above gums

Love weakness; You know when an enemy will use someone clos eto you to get through to you? Thats what I mean.

Steam; By lose steam, I meant that he would cool off, not drop out in a middle of a fight.

Not arguing , just posting how I meant for you to understand

[`` OWNER]

Pending.

but he can run, dodge and maneuver at breakneck speed...

His most valued weapons are his hindquaters. They are a typical powerhouse, allowing him to sprint, perform stunning rears and do some basic kicks.
- this is what I was referring to, as in it seems like he can do everything. I don't recall you putting that he has trouble fighting larger opponents in their before, but now that it is there (or I see it) it's fine. Just understand that your character will not be able to do everything in the book, and that not being as strong as bigger horses shouldn't be his only flaw.

I'm sure you did mean what you just stated, and I don't take it as arguing; I'm actually quite glad you brought it up. My point is that it doesn't come across as how you meant it. I and other people don't know how love and pity is a weakness for your character, or what it means when he can lose steam easily. My point is that you put his only appearance flaw is not being as strong as other horses, while he is otherwise very maneuverable, a fast runner, good at dodging, that he his best asset is his hindlegs making him good at bucking, rearing and sprinting. Understand that that basically covers everything in the book as far as positive traits for his appearance goes, and that his only flaw is that he's not as strong as bigger horses; which, by the way, bigger doesn't always mean stronger.

Then his personality goes into saying that he thinks through on everything, seduces the ladies, good at planning strategies and reading other horses and immediately figuring out their weaknesses. You meant for him to come off as one way, but for me and probably others, he comes off as the perfect horse with just being smaller (so he's not as muscular) and IF he ever found a lover, she could be used against him.

I don't mind discussing it, and I encourage you to explain things to me. However, even with the bolded changes, he still seems to be the perfectly socialized horse who is very smart, is good with the ladies, strategic etc. etc. I'm sure you get the point. For me, that is fine, if only he had some underlying problems, such as Erebus (Whom i rp) Yes he's strong and has a quick temper, but it causes him to get a lot angrier than nessecary sometimes, pushing excessive adreniline into his body. Just like any animal, this weakens them briefly while the adreniline is being removed from the blood stream, making Erebus weak for an unknown amount of time (depending on how mad he gets)

The way you have your character is very well thought out, but maybe he sometimes overevaluates other horses and situations, makes the wrong assumptions in thinking that 'this is the weakness of this horse' and it's not. As far as his appearance goes, you just need to elaborate. His shorter stature would make his spine and even head more vulnerable since taller horses have a greater height, especially when rearing.

&& my comment about the humans/gums thing is that a horse can't really see another horses gums and think 'wow, you're not feeling well.' Now they can sense when a horse is not feeling well, and maybe (i'm not a horse, so I wouldn't know this one) tell if they are undernourished by how they look (I like to believe horses are very smart, not dumb like people think) I felt like it was personifying your character.

I know this seems long, but all I'm trying to say is how you mean for him to come across isn't working, as you leave me with a lot of guess work. Just elaborate on how his shoter stature effects him, and maybe include that he doesn't always get his way with the ladies and occasionally makes mistakes when it comes to analyzing attacks and other horses (As no horse could ALWAYS be right). After all, the War horses have been manipulated, and aren't all together right in the head. He's gotta have some problems, besides his 'lover' problems.

I think it's cool to make the character come off as perfect, as no one in real life likes to focus on their negative aspects, but it's good for other role-players when they go to read your bio to see 'Oh, well this horse does have some problems.' I wouldn't be so strict except you want him to be a Warlord, and they may as well be considered perfect in their own little way (in a flawed way)

Sorry for any spelling problems, I have not run this through micro word. I would like to say kudos on everything else. You're the first person I've never really had to say anything about spelling, grammar or anything else. && you don't have to put what I stated above about sometimes being wrong etc. Those were just to give you ideas, if you come up with something then go for it :]

[`` OWNER]

Also, is it now Alias Diablo and not Allias Scimitar? That's what you had on the Activity Check. I was just wondering.

[shadowforce]

Yeah, I Found Diablo had a nicer ring to it

[shadowforce]

well, a long list of things I need to change, what do i need to change exactly? 0.o

[`` OWNER]

Well be sure to read the whol thing please, but the third to the last paragraph basically sums it up (but not entirely, hence why you need to read the whole thing)