restriction- stallion-warlord

[restriction]

Character Name: Restriction
Pronounced: ree-strict-shun
Gender: Stallion
Age: Eight
Rank: Warlord

Appearance: Your typical black horse. Stands at about 16.2HH, rather muscular. Dark chocolate eyes. Has a healing wound on his right shoulder, it's starting to get all scabby. A decent scar on his cheek bone, and another scare on his neck just under his handsome topline.

Personality: Really not the outgoing type. He likes to keep to himself much of the time. He has a fixatio
n with 'collecting' mares, and likes to show them who's boss. Extremely arrogant, cocky, foul mouthed, and full of himself. Is secretly looking for that one special mare who he can be all soft and mushy with[but don't tell him I told you].
Rp Sample: [his claiming post for Lyden]
i wanna hear you s c r e a m.

I'm back. Back from the depths and back from that place I knew as hell, formerly known as Illusions. Having dealt with my tramp of a daughter, and taken care of unfinished business, it was time to move on. I no longer had the need to be protect my daughter until her foal, MY foal was born. A wicked little brute, he is. He's going to grow up and be just like myself, such a lovely thought sends a score of chills down my spine. I can't wait until that litle horror gets older, I know he'll come and find me, and I'll be the one to teach him. To pass my skill down to him. To implement the twisted thoughts of my own mind in to his. Oh, I drool at the thought of the day to come.

My legs lurch my body in to motion, picking up a smooth, lofty lope. Muscles tighten and loosen underneath my flawed pelt, such an awesome machine. My ears swivel around slightly, making sure I am not surrounded, and not being followed. You never know these days, some stupid young stud may think he can take me on, I'd hate to have to teach him a lesson. Or would I? My knotted tresses fly behind me, caked with; dirt, sweat, and the blood of many battles fought. My tongue ejects from between my lips momentarily, moistening my muzzle. A toss of my head gets rid of the tingling sensation my untamed whiskers get when licked. It's the oddest of feelings, you know. My eyes scan the surrounding area as I dodge through trees with great skill. I like this place. The trainwreck comes to an abrupt halt, and deep breaths are taken in. I walk around slowly, surveying my surroundings, and trying to pick up the sent of a lead stallion. None.

A smirk contorts on to my features, twisting my mouth every which way. I send out a challenging grunt, letting any present equine know, that if they want to continue living here, or want to defend their territory, it's me they have to speak to. I'm not one to back down without a fight, and have given up once before. I rub myself on the trees around me, clearly marking this new found terrain as my own territory, enter at your own risk. Lyden, is what it shall be called. An odd name for an odd land, for an even more odd King.

killers are q u i e t
(428 word count. )


Other: noneeee

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[`` OWNER]

Pending.

First...
No present Warlord is above the age of 4. Please change the age of your horse.

Appearance...
Aside from the wound, which is not permanent, your character has no other negative aspects of his appearance. Please include some; refer to other accepted applications if you need ideas and inspiration.

Personality...
I'm assuming you accidentally hit the enter button between 'fixatio' and 'n'. That needs fixing. Also, I request that you elaborate on your character's personality. Though cliché, the fact that your character is 'looking for that special someone' allows me to look past that. Yet, your personality is very bland and also shows no negative traits; how can his arrogance effect him? What fears does he have?

Rp Sample...
Good, other than some very odd grammar issues.

My knotted tresses fly behind me, caked with; dirt, sweat, and the blood of many battles fought - if you were trying to list something, you would use a colon (, not a semi-colon (. Really, you don't need either of them.

Your sample bothers me in that, with him being a War Horse, he would not have encountered his daughter and any offspring produced from him and his daughter would have most likely died due to incest (or otherwise be killed by humans). Your sample eludes to a history that would best fit a wild horse role-play. History is not required, but role-playing out of context (in a sense that it conflicts with the idea of the site) is not permitted. You need to re-do the whole first paragraph, basically.

Other ones are minor but you still need to pay much more attention to your role-playing skills. As a Warlord, you will be severely critiqued and monitored by Staff during a time period that is negotiable based on your activity.